The Marathon...

This week, Richard and I do not have our kids. I haven't been as physically productive as I planned on, but, I think I am doing what I need to do. Which is resting. I have rested a lot in the past few days. I also made a yummy dinner for us last night. We also went grocery shopping together, which was fun since it's something we never get to do. I know, I am not hard to please. Any how, today I decided to catch up on some Oprah recordings...Wait...don't leave... trust me I know how cliche!  Anyhow, with Alexander leaving the other day I have been struggling. I have been questioning what should I do now, what could I have done differently. What kind of mother am I. Question after question is rolling through my head. I miss him a ton. So, I watched the episode when Chris Rock was on Oprah and she asked him how he would grade his parenting. He said " When it comes to parenting, you don't get a grade, it's the one job where you have to put 25 years in before you get your grade, parenthood is a journey, it's a marathon and you don't get points for doing half the marathon."

OK so even more cliche..I cried...but I cried because I felt hope. I need to hear those words in that way! What I am going through right now with Alexander does not sum up how well I parent. It's not the end. It's just a part of this journey, this marathon, and I will make it to the end...with him. I will give not give up on him. I have to work smarter NOT harder on reaching him. I have to figure out how to get through to his heart and figure out what he needs to feel safe and loved again. Because something is missing, and it's my job, as a parent, to figure that out.