My niece died on January 15, 2011. She was 20 years old. She went out one night and was the designated driver for the night. Upon returning home, she, for some reason left again with this guy she was seeing. He was drunk ( 2 times over the blood alcohol limit ) and he was speeding. He lost control of the SUV and slammed through a wood fence and a wrought iron fence. The car caught on fire with my niece inside. By the time she got herself out it was too late. She was on fire, the homeowners had to put her out with water from a garden hose.
The ambulance and fire department arrived quickly. On the way to the hospital they kept telling my niece that she was so brave and she's doing such a good job. Her last words were " Please, tell my mom that, OK?"
I received the phone call in the morning that she was in an accident. I prayed so hard while on my way to hospital. So hard that she would be alive. But that wasn't enough, because she was "alive" but she was not going to LIVE. They specifically said "her body is too broken for her to survive" She suffered from many, many internal injuries, her arm would have to be amputated and she had burns over %80 of her body.
I was the first one to the hospital, aside from my sister, Elena (her mother). I watched the chaplain speak to each and every one of my family member about the accident. I watched each of them fall apart. Lose Hope. Lose a part of themselves. I also felt us become one, leaning on each other. Being so vulnerable and taking care of each other. We were a family. We still are a family. Just a different family. Not bad, but not great either. Closer, definitely.
My little family over here has changed a lot since this has happened. My circle of friends is much, much smaller. Which means less friends for my kids to play with and that's tough. But the few friends around me, we are very, very close and they are phenomenal and wise women who understand where I am in my head and my life. They are a blessing. Desiree, has a hard time too. She comes home sometimes, crying. I am sure it's from all the changes. We talk a lot though. I understand her. She's such an amazing young girl.
Mental note to myself: make things more normal!
I am depressed some of the days. The other days, I feel good and me and my kids go have fun and do things. I try to have more of those days than the other. My husband is questioning his faith. Which, I don't blame him at all. But it has caused some distance between us, because I have drawn closer to my faith. He is processing, but much slower than I. Being patient is hard.
The reason why I am posting this today is because, the driver of the car was arrested yesterday morning. He is going to be charged with 3 felonies. He is 19. His life is over also. The arraignment is tomorrow at 1:30. I am attending. I am terrified of this process. I am saddened for his family. Even for him. His father is in prison and his mother wasn't raising him. He is a lost child. Now, he is a part of the system. And, my niece is dead.
I resisted this post because I don't want to change the whole tone of my blog, but it is what we are going through right now and putting it off any longer will make me feel almost as if I am in denial because the impact is immeasurable.
Thank you for reading.
Here is a link to one of the news stories.
http://www.fox40.com/news/headlines/ktxl-family-struggles-to-cope-after-01162011,0,3437797.story
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