Valley Girls and Giants

Last night I went to visit a good friend of mine(Vanessa). We had some great discussions about how to stimulate certain parts of your brain... Like this for instance:

Sensory Deprivation Tanks

I am definitely going to do this one day. Vanessa found one in our area and had her first "floating"experience recently.

Then we discussed this restaurant http://sf.darkdining.com/. Seriously, who wouldn't want to try this place out? Well I am sure many people wouldn't find this great but as for me...it gives me chills to think about how amazing this experience would be. Mental note for a possible birthday gift next year!!

So our senses were a bit heightened and then this happened

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/dyfi/events/nc/71671056/us/index.html

I have never in my life experienced an earthquake and had this one been any longer or stronger it would not have been so effin' cool!! Thankfully no one was hurt even where the epicenter was. It scaled at a 4.7, so we most likely felt it around a 2.something.

Vanessa lives in an old victorian so her house was definitely rumbling and creaking. It lasted at least 5 minutes a few seconds. Once it was over we looked at each other and I whispered "Was that an earthquake?" She, who is the calmest person ever said (again in a whisper,because apparently earthquakes have ears) "I think it was, and it's going to be OK" because I am sure I had a look of terror on my face.

The hilarious part was that during the few seconds of the quake both of us came up with our own interpretation of what was going on and they were both very similar stories. My interpretation was that there was a very large man who had been hiding in her bedroom with plans to attack us and at that very moment he was running through her house coming after us. Her interpretation was that there was again a very large man who was running up her back porch (she has a basement, one of my biggest phobias by the way) into the house. She even went as far to wonder IF this GIANT man can fit through her house windows.

Once I got home I woke my husband up and couldn't quit talking about it. He then empathized with me by sharing his experience here:

YES! I completely forgot he was at the 1989 World Series Baseball game. He was only 10. He shared of his fear in the anticipation of the many aftershocks (he grew up in San Jose). He also told me about how his house was completely ransacked. Then he asked "You've never experienced an earthquake before?"
"I said "no". He then replied teasingly "Oh, that's right...your a valley girl!" my response "Oh...whatever! I'm gonna go watch T.V.... you show off!" Jokingly of course.


While this doesn't compare to the massive quakes it was still quite the experience. One I definitely do NOT want to experience again and my heart and prayers goes out to those families that have been affected by natural disasters. I used this as a learning experience and had a great conversation with my daughter and I am now thinking that I really should be more prepared in case The Big One were to hit our area.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Did you know what it was while it was happening? Any stories you'd like to share? I'm all ears :))

XO Your Valley Girl,
Tracy

Meet the "6 Chicks"

Our girls: 

From top to bottom: 

D.Victoria (Buff Orpington) named by my mom, because it's blonde like her BFF whom I am sure would be  thrilled to know this!

Rintoo (Barred Rock) named and claimed by Dominic.

Rosie (Americauna or Easter Egger) named and claimed by Desiree. 

Roxy (Leghorn) She is mine by default.

Cozy (Buff Orpington) named and claimed by Alexander.

Tilly (Silver Laced Wyandotte) named and claimed by Richard

Chickens were a no-no here in our city up until recently where a new ordinance has been passed and will be in effect on Nov 1st. I attended the meeting along with Desiree.

Us, along with our babies and "CLUCK" stickers after the successful meeting. Where one council member specifically directed her attention to Desiree and said "She was passing this ordinance for the little girl in the 2nd row...for her generation".  

 My daughter is a farm girl living in the city. Her first beloved animal was a horse...at 2 she adored horses. She loves country music. She comes alive where there's room to run and be free. So she pushed for these chickens, and Richard and I finally bit the bullet.  Richard was on board as long as he wasn't left to all the hard work. ex: cleaning up the poop!

The first time my daughter had to refill the food and water, it was morning and she was outside in her slippers and nightgown and she said "Mommy, this feels like a real farm." I asked her if she was happy and she said "Yes, I love my chickens."

So it's been a little over two months and they are currently in a brooder that he built and we are in the process of designing our coop which will be a variation of this http://pluckandfeather.com/noisy-hens.html in the end.

We will most likely never have a farm, but the fact that we can provide a bit of the simple life and self sufficiency here feels right to me. Dominic has learned what "Gentle" means, because chicks "scream" when squeezed...no bueno! This has also helped Alexander search for his inner kid and he loves his "chick" :) he said he will take her to college with him and he will be the only kid who has a hen as a pet.

I enjoy doing the dishes and/or cooking and seeing the hens run back and forth. We all spend much more time outside and they've inspired a new "Native California" backyard theme for us. I am so thankful that my husband and I listened and chose to try something new for our kids.Yes, I had a few weeks of  worrying about the "what if's"  but it's completely worth it.

I know this is a growing trend and I'd love to read about your chickens if you have them.

XO,
Tracy 

Here's to the Freakin' Weekend!

This week has been great. My little guy started preschool, I have a blessed 2 hours and 45 minutes EVERYDAY! to create brain space. I love it. It's amazing! He loves school, too. I also love his reaction when I pick him up. "MOMMY!!!!!" huge smiles and hug so powerful I have to brace myself. Completely priceless :)

We got our CSA box - Always a highlight. Nothing like a giant box of gorgeous organic veggies delivered right to your doorstep. May as well say "Happy Birthday!!!" or whatever... Yeah, I am bit of a foodie. Will travel miles up and down Cali (literally) for food. 

Tonight I dropped my little people off with my mother-in-law for the weekend. My husband is sailing/fishing with his friend in San Francisco for the weekend. (on this boat, I'm trying real hard not to be jelly ) 

So it's just me and my man-boy for the next two days. So he's currently taking up the whole couch playing Gears of War 3 (why is it, teens make relaxing look like defacement? Seriously...why can't there be cushions on the couch WHILE you sit on it?)

and I'm blogging all the while thinking that I should be mopping. 

My to do list this weekend consists of things to do solo (because he needs time to play Gears) and things with him, because he's cool like that.

Tentative to do list: 

Have lunch with a friend while my boy attends his club car wash fundraiser

Go hang out downtown tomorrow night with my boy

Go to the Cemetery - Solo

Listen to a sermon by my favorite bay area pastor - Solo

Bake cookies for our neighbors  - hmmm....he may join in just for the dough

Go to my favorite nursery and purchase a California Native plant AND actually get it in the ground before it dies  - this one's iffy...

Watch this documentary with my boy  http://www.pelada-movie.com/

and we may just scratch all these plans and go wherever the winds blows. Any big plans for ya'll this weekend? It's kinda the first real Fall weekend here, seems to be lots of stuff going on! May it be blessed and carefree. 

Peace Out! 

Tracy

It's all in the training.

I've been crazy busy for the past two months. Things like, teenage training, potty training and chicken training! Neither of those three include my daughter, except that she's the one whose doing the chicken training. 7 years old, it's magical! 

My son, Alexander is home  YAY! His dad and I split custody %50. It's hard to have him out of the house that much but it's working. He's happy and I believe his dad is happy (not really, but more on that later) we are happy though. My little ones have missed him a lot and he's such a big part of our family it certainly does feel complete now that he's back home. 

My little guy....well I've pretty much slacked on the potty training. I just couldn't keep up the fight all the time. I also was a going crazy after two accidents in a day. So I chalked it up to he's (I'm) not ready and left it alone. Then last Friday I simply asked " Do you want to sit on the toilet?" He said yep! and while we waited...it happened!! OMG!!! I wanted to scream, I was SOOOO freakin' excited!! but I knew I would scare the crap out of him (pun intended) so I just remained calm and we finished up and then we celebrated with a mini candy bar and a call to his dad. Amazing...no more pull ups aside from one at night. He's done a great job and he's so proud of himself. A new found freedom for him and for me, both of which weigh pretty heavily. 

BAWK! BAWK! Yes, we've got chickens! Sometimes even I can't believe it! But after being around a few different families with chickens our family decided to go for it. They are so fun and adding so much life to our home. All of us take a great interest in them, including my man boy. They are about a month old and I am looking forward to blogging about them from time to time. 

I had a great summer and I am looking forward to the Fall. More on all the above topics, plus...babysitting, medals and a new job, oh and the real shocker, CAC meetings otherwise known as "The PTA". (insert stabbing motion in addition to horror music here).

Much love until then...

XO, 

Tracy! 

Good progress...

As you know we've gone to counseling with my son on a few occasions. I have been talking to him a bit more lately. He sounds as if he misses us. His tone is different, he's not so distant. In the last session Cathy (our counselor) explained to him that there is a law in the bible about honoring and respecting your mother and father. If you do so, you will have a good life. If you don't, you will have a challenged life. She explained to him that she see's evidence of it all the time through the ones that go to her for help. She asked him if he felt as if he's dishonored or disrespected us and he said "yes". She asked if he's able to take responsibility for his part in this situation. He asked how, and she said by apologizing. He said he wasn't ready to apologize and that he wanted to do it in private.

She explained to him that no matter what type of relationship we are in whether it be a co-worker, a boss, a friend or a spouse it is a very important ability to be able to acknowledge and take responsibility for his part of the situations in his life. She told him that that it would be wise of him to learn how to do this at a young age. She said he will have to do this many times in his adult life.

I think it's great that she focused on this subject. Apologizing with real acceptance of how you have hurt someone...not sugar coating or being fake or sarcastic or doing it to placate someone. How many times can you count where someone hasn't really apologized. I am at fault for it too. Trust me it came back at me. I have learned throughout my life how important it is to sincerely apologize, to dig deep and find what you've done wrong and validate someone's hurt heart. It's invaluable. To me, that is real love to be able to say I know I've done wrong...and I'm sorry for XYZ....your important to me and so are your feelings.

We have also told Alexander if he feels dishonored or disrespected to tell us. So we can talk about it and get through it together. He is a person just as we are and just because he is a still a child it does not mean that his feelings matter less. In fact they matter more, much more than ours.

We are getting together next week so we can have that private heart to heart. I have faith that it will go well and we can begin our new chapter with him again.

Much Love,
Tracy

5 Months...

Dear Ashley,

It was 5 months ago today that you were taken from us. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about you.

The way you use to imitate Giada DeLaurentiis, or Anjelah Johnson. Your love for food, good food. Your love for Audrey Hepburn.Your individual style.You worked hard.

You were a proud young lady. You were proud because you chose to be proud. You chose to be comfortable in your own skin. From day one, you didn't compromise yourself for anyone. You said what's on your mind, you did what you felt was right. Even though you didn't always choose the right path, you always made it right...you learned and that's living.

You lived, Ash. I am proud of you.

I see parts of you in my daughter and I can only pray that she continues to have the courage that you had. It's so cute when they have role call at school, her reply back is "Peace Out". I know you would think that is so funny, you were a "Peace" girl, too.

I know you have peace in your heart. I know you are with God.

Because of you I have more peace in my heart than I have ever had. Because of you, I understand that everyday is truly a gift and at anytime it could change. Well, it does change.

Today, I heard this song by "The Band Perry" over and over again. It's beautiful. It gives me a real good cry. We need those once in a while, right?

Here's to you Ashley. Auntie loves you.

Many, more "Todays" please...

Today, while sitting at a stop sign in my neighborhood, there was a boy on his bike. He was probably 8 or 9. He reminded me of my son at that age.

Today, I took my kids to Dairy Queen. We came home and sat out back and played in our new fountain. Watered our garden and took care of our animals and I thought about my son. When we would go to D.Q. we would bring a treat back for our neighbors kids. They would play out front in their pajamas and eat treats and run around until dusk. They are older now,too,  their daughter just graduated H.S.

Tonight, my daughter read me "The Giving Tree" while I braided her hair, that falls clear beyond her waist. She's already sunburned from her first swim party. I kissed her red shoulders and listened to her read about a boy who  was growing up. I bought that book for him. Nearly ten years ago.

He left again last weekend. I found myself driving around looking for him and then I realized there is no reason I should be doing that. There is nothing I can do as long as he has a place to run to. I have to enforce boundaries, because no one else will in his life. So I came home. Packed up his room and put it in the garage. I haven't cried about it. I've certainly prayed about it, about what to do. I know he needs to grow up. Break away from his mother. He's becoming a man. Maybe not the man that I planned but a man nonetheless.

It hurts. He came by last night to pick up some books he needed to turn in to school. I would have dropped them off but they happened to be the books he threw at my feet just last weekend. So I had a little problem with that. He came and I remained on the couch, while he waited on the doorstep for my husband to get the books. My son came in and gave me a hug. It was nice. I was surprised he did that. I reciprocated, but didn't have anything to say.

I don't know where this road will lead. but I do know that I am so thankful I have the memories I have.I do know that he will be back. I know he loves me, I know a part of him feels regretful, too. Today,  I am so thankful that I was able to read to him, to care for him, to play with him, to talk to him, to hold him close. Those memories are not to be taken for granted. I can only wish and pray for more, much more with my other little ones. One day I will be letting them go too. But today, we will read, and play and love and talk and answer a million and one questions. I am thankful today.

Another way to waste 5 minutes of your time on Youtube!

You've heard of Broke Ass Gourmet right? She's one of my favorite foodie peeps. Well today on FB she shared this video, to hilarious not to pass on to you.

Enjoy!

So You Think You Can Dance!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this show!!  I don't watch a lot of T.V. but there's a few shows I'm addicted to.
Glee...need I say more!! Glee and SYTYCD make me so happy. If you haven't seen these shows your are completely missing out. Watch it. You'll love them.

My friend is coming over tonight to watch it with me. She's a dancer. Well, actually she can do anything...she's one of those beautiful, multi-talented women who are so nice and thoughtful which makes it really easy to love and admire them. Anyhow, it's interesting watching this show with a dancer, she see's it differently than I do. I get emotionally attached to the routines and the dancers and Vanessa, she watches and says things like "Her dancing vocabulary is limited"...rewind...watch again...hmmm I get it, kinda :)

Her favorite dancer last season was Alex Wong, he was mine, too! Then he injured himself and he had to pull out of the competition. He is a Ballet dancer and this was our favorite performance from last season. Seriously it's only  2 minutes long. He's a BALLET dancer and he can do this performance... Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLtSfYX8tJk

XO

The Most Beautiful Sunset...

Craziness is the weather these days. There was a winter storm warning today for Tahoe, and a Tornado warning today in Natomas. It hailed, there was thunder...both of which I really love. Tonight, Richard, Desiree and I cozied up next to the fire and watched Julia & Julia. Desiree decided that we need to make lobster, very soon. I think it's a good idea. I made a curried stew, again...to my hearts delight....stew in June...it was lovely.

I started babysitting this week. The cutest, chubbiest 4 month old baby girl. She's freakin' adorable! I'll post pics soon. Committed through the summer...she's very easy. She's also a family member so that makes it easier.

Yesterday was our first counseling session with the man-boy. On a scale of 1-10 I give it an 8/9...no huge revelations but he spoke. He expressed his feelings and it was good. It's hard to see your children hurt. We are imperfect parents and our children pay. It's a huge responsibility...I still have a ton to learn.

This weekend is a "Walk Like Madd 5k" event. We are walking in honor of my niece. We have over 100 team members. I believe our team makes up over %50 of the registered walkers at the event. We have also surpassed our fundraising goal twice! Amazing...it will be an amazing day. I love my family.

This was the sunset last night. These are little things that bring me joy. I only wished I was on the trail running to fully embrace this moment.

Breathtaking! 

Inspiration to grow on...

"Let's tell the truth to people. When people ask, 'How are you?' have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avaoiding you because, they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don't want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you." 
— Maya Angelou (Letter to My Daughter)

Gearing up for Summer Vacation

My daughter has been home from school for two days now. She has a bad case of asthma this season. She's getting albuterol treatments 4-6 times a day and if it doesn't get better by tomorrow then she will receive her first dose of a steroid boost. I do not like my kids to be on any medication, except breathing is vital to their existence...so I am making an exception :) BTW: My daughter is hilarious after her treatments...another plus!

Including the weekend Desiree and Dominic have been home for 4 days together and it got me thinking about our summer plans and how we are going to spend our time. Typically I am stressed about all the down time and worried about them fighting and being in each others grills all day but the past few days they have been doing a great. They are playing together, napping together and definitely taking care of each other. It warms my heart to see them love each other. Yes, they do fight. Don't get me wrong but it's becoming less and less of that and more often than not they are able to work things out between the two of them.

We have run into some old friends and we are hopefully hooking up this summer to hang out. One of my closest friends put a pool in, so I am now her NEW, BFF LOL! Gotta love friends with pools. If you have a pool and you invite me to swim, I will feed you. Damn, good food, too!!! I promise :))

I think I have told you that I am training for an actual marathon. This weekend is mile 13.5 and I am so excited. I had a crazy mental block at 10 miles, I ran it over and over again 3 times and felt terrible afterwards.

 But now I have an "ambassador" trainer ( my life becomes more and more like Jerry Maguire all the time) only she's not an ambassador of "Kwan" she's an ambassador of running. She's amazing. She's 30 and she's run quite a few marathons and half marathons. Every time I have a concern she says "You should be fine" and that's it. I mean what do you say to that??

 Well she ran me past 10 miles, past 11.5 and now we're going on 13.5 and it's going to be a good things. She's optimistic about everything. I love her! I haven't told her that or else she'll think I am crazy!  But it's a good thing... My marathon is in July, planned that well, right? Can't wait to run 20 miles when it's 80 degree's outside at 7:30 am...but, I should be fine, right??

How do you spend your summers? Any exciting vacations planned? I'd love to hear from my readers and if you choose not to comment (weep), thank you for stopping by and spending precious time out of your day reading about my nonsense :)

"Imploding"

To collapse or cause to collapse violently inward.

That's what is happening to me these days when it comes to the situation with me and my son. And the suckiest (yes, that's a word) is that I can't blog about it. Vent about it in full...because I think he reads my blog. 

I have to pat myself on the back though,  for the past couple of weeks I haven't lost control, I haven't said certain things I've wanted to say to his dad. I have practiced patience. I have practice compassion. I have practiced understanding and I've left all the sarcastic, unkind remarks in my head.

I am still maintaining my boundaries, though. I feel better about myself. I feel like a stronger parent.

But with holding all that doesn't come without cost. It manifests itself in different ways. I have to figure out what to do when I am collapsing. Saturday, I ran 11.5 miles. It was amazing. I left a ton of negative energy out on the trail.  Today I went to church and heard the word there. Again, a healthy way to rid myself of the weights I am carrying right now.

We also have a counselor. She's a mother. She's had teenagers and I see in her eyes, the compassion for me. I also see her saying "Thank you LORD, that I am not in her shoes right now."

Last week she quoted part of a scriptures "we wait for the early and the late rains". I came home and looked up the scripture and here it is in full.

James 5:7

Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains.

Again, I am seeking health. Healthy mind, body and spirit. All this and the rains will come. It's going to be good.

10 on 10

Lot's of new things today...

A new ticket! 

New skills - I've bribed him with a new bike if he learns how to peddle! 

 My new beauty - My husband rocks!! 

I only ate the ears of this shiny new bunny.

Hello Diamonds...damn Oprah!! 

I will NOT take advantage of this new coupon...I know Gross, Right? Damn commercials...

 New growth, in our new planters again...my husband ...well you know...

She will be the next Imelda Marcos...pretty sure of it...

I found a new way to waste "nap time" 

And...Dinner (leftover)...not pretty but it was a new recipe and it was left over from last night here's the recipe...her's was much better but I had to leave out the cream and butter and pasta. That enabled me to eat those bunny ears : ) 

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/04/cajun-chicken-pasta/

Lucky Charms!

Linking up with Loves of Life for her Saturday Morning Scene


Good Saturday to you all.

This morning was exceptionally good for Desiree as her birthday week comes to a close. One last gift was presented to her today. Thanks to my man-boy for reminding me (yes, we visited yesterday, update to come later this weekend once I get a moment -you can get caught up here), he asked me if she liked her Lucky Charms "Oh, crap I completely forgot." So before I brought Alexander home to visit everyone we stopped at the store and he bought her a box of Lucky Charms.

Every birthday my kids get to pick out a junk cereal - which is pretty much forbidden at any other time. All year Desiree and Alexander look forward to that moment, where they rip open a box of Coco Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cookie Crisp (CRINGE!) whatever they want. They devour it in two days.

So today here's Desiree with her first bowl of pure sugar and empty calories  happiness! 

Did you know that Lucky Charms is America's #1 Source of Whole Grain??? 

Feliz Cinco De Mayo!!

A few weeks ago I called my sister at work. While we spoke, she received her PTO slips and she was telling me that she had been approved for all the days she requested. Naturally, I asked her what those days are?

1. Dr. Appt
2. Hair Appt.
3. Cinco De Mayo

I followed up with at "WTH? your taking Cinco De Mayo off?"
She says "Um, YES GIRL!"

Alright so I should have known better. We have celebrated every year for the past 7 years ( Only remember back that far because that's how long I've been an SAHM and have been able to partake in the festivities). We typically meet at a restaurant and listen to music and simply have a good time. Through out the day our friends and family come and go. But  today I figured I wouldn't go because I am lazy, and a homebody. But, then my cousin posted this video on Facebook:



And every time I hear this songs it reminds of the countless occasions where our family has been around Mariachi's and because this is one of my grandma's favorite songs (and after a few shots of tequila) she starts to sing it LOUD not with the Mariachi's she IS the Mariachi!! ...then someone always asks her to interpret it and I can hear her now...doing just that.

Then this video was posted




And this is another frequent request from my family. While these are two very, very common Mexican songs, they never cease to make me dance, sing and want to be with my girls....oh and I am totally craving a beer right now.

So, I am OUT! To be with the beautiful women in my life and listen to some Mariachi..AY! AY! AY! AY!

ADIOS! 

Goin' a lilbitcrazy!

OK, so it's been almost two weeks since Alexander has left. I have since called his dad, I have emailed his dad and yesterday I finally sent my son a text because I have received word that his grades are going down. No response from any party.

I am not sure why his dad thinks I am going to sit back and allow this to happen. I filed for custody and child support by the time my son was 6 months old. I have done everything legally and this time is NO exception. I think I have been patient through the past few weeks.

But for his dad to not call me back or allow Alexander to not call me is ridiculous. It's mean and rude, two characteristics of people I try to avoid. But this is my son, my child who he just snatched up and thinks he's going to be there for him NOW...after 15 years of  %12 custody (yeah, that's what's in the court order). %12, can you imagine being a %12 parent. Well here's a little glimpse on what %12 will getcha, he hasn't asked to pick up his son's clothes, his grades have all dropped, he's been seen out late on school nights, he's deleted all of his family members from Facebook...including his grandmother and he didn't call his sister on his birthday (which I reminded his dad of a few days before). I believe this type of behavior in the teen world is called "wylin'out" which screams...." I have NO parental guidance right now!!! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!"

Yet, all the while he's telling people that his son is happy. Really? Freakin' delusional.  Now he's gone from %12 to %100 percent and it's all falling apart. So I requested our file from the courthouse and in two days I will begin this endeavor on getting my son back. Of course, I am praying that it won't take that to get him back. I have high hopes that the alien invasion going on with my kid ends real soon and he remembers who he is, and what is right and wrong. I am praying so hard for that.

***Lucky Number 7***

Monday was Desiree's 7th birthday.  She woke up in the morning and announced " I like 7, I think it's going to be a good year!" Well, I am definitely going to take her word on that. We celebrated with

Red Velvet Cake (flavor requested by her) 

Crafts - Painting Bird houses - Any girls dream, right? 

Friends and Family! No pictures though. I guess I was too busy :( But it all went well because clearly she is one happy girl. She's amazing. Desiree, your right it's going to be a wonderful year! Happy Birthday my darling! 

One Last Night...

My babies have been gone all week.
I have napped everyday.
I have read until my hearts content.
I had a lunch date with a good friend yesterday, we had Sangria and wore cute clothes...and we were both without our kids.
My husband and I have had uninterrupted conversations.
I have made dinners with seafood and cream. YUM!
Tonight we are going out. Not sure where yet, but it's out...and that's enough for me.
Tomorrow we are going to this event... http://www.sactomofo.com/ I am food truck junkie.
I love opportunities like this. I am also ready for my babies to come home. I miss them.

But tonight I am going to wear these:

And get this guy all fancied up...(he's gonna hate that i posted this pic btw) 

but it's better than this one

and hit the town. It's going to be a good time. Have a great weekend! Happy Friday all!!

"He's Having A Good Time"

those gut wrenching words Alexander's dad said to me today. The only way I could respond was " I am sure he is, it's different." He is back on Facebook and his dad is trying to get him back on the soccer team I just removed him from. They joined a gym today. OH, and his dad said "I make sure he's been doing his homework, too" my response " He has star testing this week, he doesn't have much." bet you didn't know that, huh, A@#hole! OH...he's also making sure he is going to bed by 11 pm. Nice!

I know I need to stop being angry. I want my son back and I really have to check this anger and sarcasm. I feel like I was right in the middle of this marathon with him and someone cancelled the marathon. WTF?? I am NOT turning around now...YOU cannot take this from me.

It's so hard though, I have never been on this side. I don't know how to be this type of parent, so I can vent and pray...very very hard! and be patient and hopeful and TRUST. Trust that the past 15 years aren't being flushed down the toilet.